You may not necessarily be *ugly* because you are fat.
However, depending on how fat you are, you are likely to be statistically considered less attractive than your thinner peers. Just like depending on how overly skinny someone is, they may be considered less healthy than their average weight peers. Like most things in life, moderation is key. Neither extreme is healthy.
You see, I read one of the answers here, and a woman posted photos of fat women on runways and said something like, “Hey, incredible! those women can do that…” Well, they are getting paid to do that and they have a very particular look to them, they are not random fat women. As a photographer, I can tell you, the take away from that is, that sure, they may not be as unattractive as obese women, but come on, look at the make-up, look at the hair, look at their faces, their cheeks, the lighting, hell, they may be fat but they are not 350 LBS. They are on the slimmer side of fat — so don’t conflate them with ALL fat people. It is not like they are an average fat person. Just like models are not your average skinny person, either. So it is wrong to conflate models, women who are picked for very specific reasons and attributes (aka; face structure, proportion, etc) with the average joe. It is straight up mentally unhealthy to do that. So, don’t do it. Don’t pass that wrong message to other people.
There is a lot of conflating that goes on when people —mostly women, though— are talking about their weight.
Look, on average, and as a whole, human beings are hardwired to like healthy looking people. Being fat —and worse, obese— are not signs of a healthy lifestyle. This is not me telling you this, this is not society telling you this, this is not ‘the patriarchy’ telling you this, this is straight up Nature telling EVERYONE this. Not to mention doctors, and the vast majority of the medical community.
Sure, being fat sucks (I too used to be overweight for a few years during my 20’s) and yes, the dating life can be a bit tricky. But remember this and forever, NATURE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, so if you want to change things for the better, then change them. And no, it is not just about pretending that all of the sudden you are gorgeous and ignore common sense like some fat movements are trying to brainwash other women into being miserable and in denial, along with them. Being obese will shorten your lifespan, there are studies after studies proving beyond doubt that humans did not evolved to be size or have the high percentage of fat many of these interest groups claim to be healthy. Social perceptions will never trump human physiology. The mere fact these narratives have managed to roll this far into absurdity is nevertheless somewhat impressive. Don’t fall for that.
Sure, have a healthy and positive attitude and by that I means, be objective and have a reasonable approach without relying on examples from the extremes. Not like the people who think that you can be healthy at any weight. Which is a straight-up lie. Feeling over facts, that is all that is.
I can objectively tell you that I got more attention once I lost the weight, I felt healthier and notice people were attracted to me when I had a bit of muscle on. Yes, it was hard work and a lifestyle change but not diets, they do not work, you have to change your lifestyle overall and forever, but it is worth it.
So, in closing, no, you may not be ugly because you are fat. However, the reality is that you will be seen as less attractive by most people — even if they tell you, otherwise, out of politeness. And in many societies, Western and otherwise people may lie to your face, thinking they are being kind and nice. It is unfortunately a general disservice, since other people may start believing politeness to be a normative claim. When it is not.
So, either you pretend and believe you can be healthy at any size but you won’t be healthier if you are overweight. That’s it. Which will have the side effect of being seen as more attractive to more people if you decide to take care of yourself. Statistically, it will allow you to live longer and give you the chance to never wonder whether being fat makes you look ugly. Since by then, YOU will know the answer and not just take the word from a stranger on the internet. Haha! 🙂
Not to mention, you will feel healthier, leaner and be far more active. Which in turn is also something that people will be attracted on top of just your looks: a well deserved and earned, positive attitude and outlook.
Oh, also, something really important that will help you: Learn about Nutritional Science. If you are concerned about what you eat. Learning about our interaction with food, what makes it healthy and what your body needs is something everyone should know, anyway. Remember, Nutritional Science, not some book with some random lady or man on the cover telling you how you will reach your dream weight in 4 weeks, that’s dumb people fluff or grifting. It’s likely people trying to exploit people’s desire to do the least amount of work, essentially, the equivalent of a get-rich-quick-scheme. Stick to actual nutritional science. Can’t stress this enough.
What To Say If Someone States They Are Triggered By the Above?
If you make a decent income, and by that I mean reasonable depending of where you reside, then most people have a certain level of latitude on what they opt to eat and the size of said portions.
Sure, some people struggle, and usually in my observations is because the overeating is due and caused by some type of trauma or emotional baggage. Said overeating is usually the effect of not dealing, or the act of deflecting in dealing with those root issues. I mean, this is nothing new or a secret, since some of this may be covered in Psychology 101 in most universities.
Sometimes, people are aware of those issues albeit in many cases, they are not or refuse to admit them. In a few rare instances, more honest introspection would be required, hence some people may seek aid externally, via a therapist, for example. Honesty to ourselves is the best way to come to terms with what bothers us, even if it is not come easy for some.
By dealing it with them head on —even if ever so slowly— and not just by telling other people to censor their language over something as basic as having a healthy lifestyle, or the result of literal evolutionary pressures found in the human species and in science in general is an obvious safe step. Otherwise it is a disservice for those who want to find real answers to their problems. It is worth noting that therapy is essentially this. Figuring out the “Why of the Why” people act or do anything. Especially, when it is self-destructive.
Hence those people who struggle with eating habits usually do because they are not addressing the root problem. If that is the case then they may benefit to seek and address those emotional issues causing them to express their stress/denial/unhappiness by eating. Or, if the issue is just merely a lack of knowledge in nutritional science, which can also be an underlying issue.
Which by looking at the amount of obesity found in the USA, the later seems to be one of the main reasons as to why people fall for bad eating habits pushed in the media by large food multinationals. Echo-chambering is for example something that I see often in social media, for example.
This article is meant to be helpful in an honest manner, I think that curtailing that because it “triggers” people, should be a wake up call that other concerns are not being addressed. Or that a sense of over victim-hood, or rather a victim-hood complex is being exploited. There is a whole 3rd world, billions of people at minimum, which would find the very concept of getting triggered by over eating as out of touch and puzzling as the may struggle every day, just to find enough food to survive or have a healthy diet.
Since if factual truth or facts is triggering to some, then I can assure you that factual truth is not where the issue or concern lies.
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