My Partner’s Parents Are Very Controlling And It Is Affecting Our Relationship. What Can Be Done?

Regardless of what you end up doing, any choice will be a lot simpler said than done, but you are going to have to do this, since this will provide you with a barometer of how likely your relationship is to survive, or not.

When you say that your partner’s parents are controlling, what you are really saying is that they are controlling and that your BF, and by extension you, have to go along with what they say. That means they have some type of power over him, is it financial? Cultural? Guilt based? Due to Religion? Tradition?

Well, then you need to speak to your BF and ask him directly if he is capable of standing up to his parents if needed be, if they start acting in a way that is making your relationship worse. If he says “Yes,” and you see him doing this, then you might survive. If he says “No” or he makes excuses then you might as well break up now.

Here is a life lesson for you: No relationship will last happily if a partner is unwilling to defend their relationship or their partner, or if they cannot stand up to their parents. Period. Full stop.

Otherwise, that means that your partner’s parents will be an external force, whether that be positive or negative, forever. One that will control YOUR relationship from outside the both of you. That is a crappy situation that I would not want to find myself in.

Or until you get tired of them meddling in your affairs. But remember, even if you stand up to them yourself, if he does not back you up, then you have no ground to question them and thus, no solid relationship.

The best thing to do would be to remove all means in which those parents have power over the both of you. If the problem is the BF, then the problem will always be him, because when issues come up, he will always fold to them and your issues will always continue. Even if in different forms or scenarios, they will always be there.

You need to have a conversation with him in order to ascertain if he has your back. So far, it seems like he does not, or you both have not had a chat about this. You need to have this ASAP, so you know what to expect and if you decide to stay —at least for the time being— that you are doing it with your eyes open. If he can’t change, then your relationship will never change… until the parents die, that is. Do you want to stick around and wait until then? Remember, it is YOUR life. Not theirs.

I wouldn’t. I wish you the best of luck.